What It's Come To
by forgotten-serenity
Summary: A few chance sightings send Olivia looking for her lost love. AO.
1. Chapter 1

Takes place in the middle of the episode Philadelphia (8-16). Again, not my show.

* * *

"So you're pretty much on your own," Simon nodded.

Olivia's eyes drifted to the picture on table behind the sofa, "Yeah."

Simon looked at the picture and picked it up, "She's beautiful."

Olivia nodded and sighed.

"You two looked happy," Simon replied, handing Olivia the picture.

"We were," Olivia set the picture back up.

"What's her name?" Simon asked softly.

"Alex Cabot," Olivia took a sip of her drink.

Simon though for a moment, "Wasn't she that ADA that got shot?"

Olivia nodded, solemnly.

"I'm so sorry," Simon touched Olivia's arm.

They continued to talk and laugh until Simon decided he needed to get home.

The next morning, Olivia and Elliot got chewed out by Cragen and told to go home.

When Olivia got home, she spread out all the stuff Simon had sent her. Then she looked at the picture of her and Alex at the park. The traced Alex's face with her finger. "I miss you," she whispered.

There was a knocked on her door. Olivia put the picture down on top of Simon's stuff, wiped her eyes and opened it. Elliot was standing on the other side.

"I thought you could use some company," Elliot stated and walked in.

Olivia shrugged and walked over to the window.

Elliot picked up the picture of Alex. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything comforting to say.

Olivia leaned her head against the cold glass of the window and closed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked.

Olivia stood up straight, turning away from the window. Elliot walked over to her and looked at Olivia.

"Are you…." Elliot trailed off looking out the window behind Olivia.

Olivia followed his eyes and she froze when she saw what he saw. Standing across the street on the sidewalk, in a long tan coat, and long blonde hair was…

"Alex?" Olivia breathed.

She was looking right at them. She smiled softly.

"Is that really her?" Elliot asked.

Olivia couldn't rip her eyes away. It had been a year since Olivia had seen her last, but there was no mistaking that it was Alexandra Cabot.

Alex brought her hand to her mouth and kissed her fingers before turning them up to Olivia.

"You stay here," Olivia told Elliot, "Watch her."

With that, Olivia took off running down the hallway, down the stairs, and onto the street.

Alex was gone. Olivia turned around and looked up at Elliot.

He pointed down the street. Olivia's phone rang.

"Benson," Olivia answered and took off in the direction Elliot pointed her.

"She turned the corner," Elliot replied, "And I can't see her anymore."

Olivia jogged down the street, searching for faces and looking for the familiar blonde hair. Alex was nowhere.

"I don't see her," Olivia sighed and stopped.

"Let's go to the precinct and see if Cragen's heard anything," Elliot suggested.

Olivia took one last look around before answering, "Okay."

The drive to the precinct was silent.

As they walked in Olivia asked, "What's the chance that two people have the same hallucination?"

"Very slim to none," Huang said next to Casey.

"Who did you see?" Casey asked, "Blonde hair, blue eyes, ex-ADA?"

"Where did you see her?" Olivia asked.

Casey leaned back on Elliot's desk, "I was walking out of the courthouse and saw her standing there, looking up at it. I started walking toward her and she walked off. She just seemed to disappear."

"Maybe she needed to see the things she loved most so she felt she had a reason to keep going," Huang offered.

It broke Olivia's heart that it had come to that. That Alex needed to see her and the courthouse to keep living life. It wasn't like Alex to give up.

"I have to find her," Olivia breathed.

Elliot nodded, "I'll help you."

Casey and Huang agreed.

"What time did you see her?" Elliot asked Casey.

"An hour ago," Casey replied. She looked at Olivia, "Where else would she go?"

"I think I have an idea," Olivia looked at Huang, "Can you look into this?"

Huang nodded.

"You too," Olivia added to Casey before she and Elliot took off.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own any of the characters from the Law & Order franchise.

SVU Chicky -- I hope you don't mind that I borrowed a line from your review. :)

* * *

Olivia slid the key into the lock and opened the door to Alex's old apartment. The smells and memories threatened to take Olivia over. She paused to regain her composure, then stepped in.

Olivia looked at Elliot and put her finger to her lips. She wanted to hear every sound in that apartment.

There were no sounds, so Olivia started looking around. "Someone's been here."

"How can you tell?" Elliot asked.

"I folded that blanket last week," Olivia pointed to the blanket strewn over the couch.

Elliot looked as if he was going to ask a question, but Olivia shook her head.

They walked around looking for any sign that Alex had been there and if so, where she was going next.

Olivia was in the kitchen when she heard Elliot's phone ring. She walked to where he was as he answered, "Stabler." His eyebrows furrowed at the person talking to him, "She what?….How?….Okay." He hung up.

Olivia was looking expectantly at him.

"Huang said that a friend of his told him that Alex ran off," Elliot replied.

"She what?!" Olivia yelled, "Why didn't they chase her down?"

"Witness Protection is voluntary Liv," Elliot added, "Since there was no sign of a struggle and she took stuff with her, they assume that she left on her own and moved on."

"Something could have happened to her," Olivia breathed.

"But nothing did," Elliot put a comforting hand on Olivia's arm, "We both saw her and Casey saw her. She's okay and alone as far as we know."

Olivia sighed, "We have to find her before something happens to\her."

Elliot nodded and they continued to search for any sign of where Alex was.

Olivia's phone rang in her pocket she dug it out and answered, "Benson."

"It's Casey," Casey replied, "No one else in the DA's office has seen her, but Branch said that if we find her to send her his way. He said he'd help anyway he could, but I don't see what he could do."

"Have you checked Alex's old office?" Olivia asked.

"Which one was it?" Casey asked.

Olivia thought for a second, "It's the one across the hall from Southerlyn."

Casey walked down the hallway and opened the door to Alex's office. No one else had moved in and there was a makeshift memorial across the desk. A chill ran down Casey's spine.

Casey looked a deep breath and looked around. "I don't see her."

"Does it look like she's been there?" Olivia asked, looking around the kitchen.

"No," Casey replied, "It doesn't look like anyone else has been here in a few days."

"Look out the window," Olivia added.

Casey walked behind the desk and pushed the curtain back. She scanned the sidewalks. Her eyes stopped on a woman with long blonde hair, walking with a man. The woman turned to look toward the DA's office.

Casey let out a breath, "No, she's not out there."

"Did you ask Serena if she's seen her?" Olivia walked out of the kitchen and met Elliot in the living room.

"No," Casey replied, "She was in court this morning when I was asking around. I'll ask her now." Casey walked across the hallway and knocked on Serena's open door.

Serena looked up at Casey, "Hi."

Casey took a deep breath, "Have you seen anyone…"

Serena didn't let Casey finish, "You saw her too?"

"Where did you see her?" Casey asked.

"She saw her?!" Olivia asked in Casey's ear.

"I was getting coffee on my way back here," Serena explained, "It's right down the street. By the time I saw her, she was leaving with coffee in her hand. I ran outside to catch her, but she was gone. When I she left she started walking toward uptown."

"How long ago?" Casey asked.

"Ten minutes," Serena answered, standing up, "I'll show you."

"Liv," Casey said into her phone, "Serena saw her ten minutes ago at the coffee shop down the street. We're going down there now."

"We're on our way," Olivia replied and hung up. She ran out the door with Elliot on her tail, "Southerlyn saw her ten minutes ago."

When Casey and Serena got there, Serena led them in the direction that Alex walked off in.

Elliot took out a map and started writing on it.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked as they sped down the road.

"I've circled all the places she's been seen and pointed arrows in the direction she walked off in," Elliot replied, "They all point in the same direction."

"Are there any hotels or apartments in the area?" Olivia asked as she screeched to a stop next to Serena and Casey who were waling down the street. She parked and they got out.

"There's about two dozen," Elliot replied.

"Damn," Olivia sighed.

"What do you need me to do?" Serena asked Olivia.

Olivia spread the map out on the hood of the car, "We think she's somewhere in this area. You and me can canvas that area and see if anyone's seen her." She looked at Elliot and Casey, "Can you two go into the hotels and see if anyone's seen her?"

Elliot and Casey nodded.

"You take the car," Olivia handed Elliot the car keys.

Elliot took them and he and Casey left in the car.

"Did you see her too?" Serena asked as they started walking.

"Yeah," Olivia replied, "Outside my window."

Serena nodded, "What do you think she's doing here?"

Olivia shrugged, "I won't know until we find her."

"Is she in danger?" Serena asked.

"Maybe," Olivia added, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"I miss her," Serena sighed.

"Me too," Olivia sighed, "You were her best friend so you'll let me know if she contacts you?"

"Of course," Serena nodded.

They walked down the street and only found a few people who had seen Alex, but none of them knew where she lived.

"Thanks," Olivia told the latest person who gave no good leads.

She walked over to Serena who was talking to an older man with a dog. "She's a little taller than me with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a long tan coat."

The man nodded, "I saw her a few minutes ago when I was walking Toby. I probably wouldn't have remembered her except I accidentally dropped Toby's leash and she caught him for me. Sweet girl."

"Did she tell you her name?" Olivia asked.

"Stephanie," he nodded.

Olivia took out her phone and dialed Elliot.

"Did you see which way she went?" Serena asked.

The man pointed ahead of himself. "She walked off that way. She seemed in a hurry."

"Elliot," Olivia said into her phone, "She might be going by the name of Stephanie….alright." She hung up as Serena was thanking the man.

"Anything new?" Serena asked as they started walking again.

Olivia shook her head. "Elliot's going to come pick us up since it's getting dark."

Serena wrapped her arms around herself, "Why does she keep walking away?"


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own any character in the Law & Order franchise.

* * *

"We've looked at all the apartments and hotels in the area," Elliot leaned back in his chair behind his desk, "None of them rent anything anyone named Alexandra Cabot or Stephanie anything."

"Maybe she already went back to wherever she came from," Casey offered.

"There's 8.2 million people in this city," Olivia crossed her arms, "I don't think we're looking hard enough."

"We've followed every lead down that we could," Serena added as she paced by the windows, "There's got to be something else."

"Why don't you go lay down?" Elliot leaned forward towards Olivia.

Olivia shook her head, "Even if I did, it wouldn't do any good. But you should go home."

"You'll be okay here?" Elliot asked.

Olivia nodded.

"Are you two staying?" Elliot asked the two ADAs.

"Yeah," Serena added.

Casey nodded.

Elliot stood and put on his coat, "Okay. I'll see you ladies tomorrow. Call me if you find anything."

Olivia nodded, staring at her desk.

Elliot took one last look around and left.

"Why don't you two at least go lay down?" Olivia looked at the other two, "I'll come get you if I think of anything."

Serena looked at Casey. Casey shrugged, "Can get us if there's anything we can do."

Olivia nodded and watched the two ADAs walk up the stairs and into the crib.

Olivia walked over to the window and looked out into the cold New York night. She willed Alex to appear outside the door and stay put until she got there. Olivia pressed her hand against the chilled glass and whispered, "Where are you?"

The sound of footsteps made Olivia turn around. Serena was walking down the stairs. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep."

Olivia shrugged, "I wouldn't be able to either."

Serena walked over to the coffee machine and started it to brewing. "Do you think she'll go back to any of the places she's already been?"

"I don't know," Olivia sat on the window sill, "It seems we don't know much about anything right now."

Serena took a deep breath. She looked at Olivia, then something behind her caught her eyes. There was movement outside.

Olivia saw the look in Serena's eyes and turned around. There she was. She was standing across the street looking in the window.

"Casey!" Serena called and tore off, out the door.

Olivia just sat mesmerized. The wind was blowing Alex's hair around and a light snow swirled at her feet. She looked like an angel.

Then she started to walk off again. The second she was around the corner, Serena stepped into view. She trotted off after Alex.

Serena saw Alex turn down the street, but she looked down the sidewalk and saw a blonde woman walking away. The powerful stride made Serena sure it was Alex.

"Alexandra Cabot! If you don't come back now, I'll kick your ass when I catch you!"

Alex seemed to ignore Serena and turned the corner out of Serena's sight. Serena ran down the sidewalk and turned the corner to find an empty sidewalk and an empty street.

Serena stood there, staring at the street until she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders.

"She's not there," Olivia added.

"She was," Serena sighed and started walking back to the precinct.

Olivia stood at the corner for a minute before mumbling, "I love you Alex." And walking off.

"I love you too," came a voice from seemingly nowhere. There was no doubt in Olivia's mind that it was Alex.

Olivia turned around and wasn't surprised to see no one.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own them blah blah blah...

And I promise there were be answers very, very soon.

* * *

Olivia walked into the precinct in a daze. She walked straight to her desk and sat in her chair.

Casey set a cup of coffee on Olivia's desk, "Serena told me what happened." She sat in the chair next to Olivia's desk.

Olivia wrapped her hands around the coffee cup, "How do we even know she's real?"

"Four of us all saw her at one point," Casey added, "You and Elliot saw her at the same time and the same with you and Serena. There's no way that we're all hallucinating the same thing."

Olivia clicked her computer out if it's sleep. She went to the Vital Statistics Database and typed in Alexandra Cabot along with her birthday.

"You don't think she's…" Casey paused, "dead, do you?"

Olivia shrugged as the database searched, "How does someone disappear like that without being a ghost?"

"Or an angel," Serena offered from behind Olivia.

The search results appeared on the screen. All three women crowded around the computer.

"There's a birth certificate," Olivia pointed out, "And her fake death certificate that's been voided."

"But nothing else," Serena stood up straight, "Meaning, she's still alive and has become very, very sneaky."

"Or they don't know she's dead yet," Olivia mumbled to herself.

"Well, I think we're not going to find her by looking," Casey stated, "It's apparent that she's not ready, or doesn't want to contact any of us, so all we can do is wait."

Serena stood in front of Casey, "So you say we give up?"

Casey shook her head, "I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that we wait and if we see her again, follow her to see if we can catch her, but there's no way we're going to find her without her wanting it."

Serena looked to Olivia for the final word.

"I think Casey's right," Olivia looked up at Serena, "We're getting absolutely nowhere."

Serena frowned. Then crossed her arms and started pacing again. "Since we're not going to look for her anymore, I want to know that Velez isn't going to go after her."

Olivia nodded. She pulled out her phone.

"Hammond," a man's voice answered.

"This is Detective Benson," Olivia said as the other two watched her intently.

"Alex is gone," Hammond replied.

"I know that," Olivia added, "I want to know what happened to Velez?"

"He was killed in a raid a few days ago," Hammond explained, "BATF went in for some illegal firearms smuggling and Velez opened fire. He was gunned down immediately. His second in command rolled on everyone else in the gang and they're being rounded up as we speak. I left a message for you with someone at your office."

"Thanks," Olivia said and hung up. She dug around the papers of her desk and found a sticky note one of the civilian secretaries wrote. "Velez is dead." Olivia handed it to Serena.

"He's dead?" Serena asked.

Olivia nodded, "He got shot in a raid. They're rounding up the rest of his gang now."

"So Alex isn't in danger?" Casey asked.

"She still could be until all the other members are rounded up," Olivia answered.

All three women were silent for a while. Their eyes drifted to outside the window a few times just in case Alex decided to show up again.

"You two should go home," Olivia finally broke the silence.

Serena stopped pacing, "You should too. Alex might go back to your apartment."

Olivia gave in and started getting ready to go.

Serena and Casey escorted her out to make sure that she left. Once outside, they all parted ways to their respective cars.

Olivia sat in her car for a moment before starting the engine. She drove in a mental fog, lost in her thoughts and trying to figure out where Alex might be.

When she finally stopped, she looked up the realize that the building that she stopped in front of wasn't her own. It was Alex's.

She took a long breath and took the keys out of the ignition. She had instinctively driven to the place she went after all her excruciatingly hard days.

Before Alex got shot, she's sit and listen to Olivia vent for as long as she needed to. Now Olivia goes to the empty apartment to remember Alex. Not that she forgets, but it always seemed that Alex was more tangible there than anywhere else.

Olivia shoved her hands into her pockets and walked, head down into the building.


	5. Chapter 5

Not my show...

* * *

Olivia unlocked the door with her key and stepped in. It was dark except for the light coming from the street lamp outside. She closed the door behind her and locked it again. She took off her jacket, tossed it onto the coat rack, then fell back on the couch. She laid her head back and closed her eyes, debating weather to fall asleep on the couch or go to Alex's room.

A series of mechanical clicks brought Olivia back. It was coming from the hallway leading to Alex's bedroom and office. It was the unmistakable click of a gun getting ready to fire.

Olivia pulled out her gun as she stood up. Just when she thought it couldn't get worse…

She slowly and silently crept down the hallway, where the clicking had stopped. There was someone in that apartment with a loaded gun, just waiting.

Olivia first stopped in Alex's office. There wasn't much in there since Alex left. The papers that once littered the desk were filed away at the DA's office. All the law books around the desk were collecting dust and the laptop once carried around by the ADA was still sitting on the desk.

Olivia kept walking toward the bedroom with her gun extended in front of her. The bedroom door was halfway open. Olivia never left it open when she left. There was definitely someone in there.

She pointed her gun toward the inside of the dark room. No sooner had she stepped over the threshold, was her gun ripped out of her hands and sent clattering away on the floor.

Olivia's heart pounded as she realized she was face to face with the barrel of another gun.


	6. Chapter 6

"Liv?" the person with the gun asked, lowering it.

Olivia reached over and flipped on the lights to confirm who's voice Olivia heard. Standing in front of her, with her long blonde hair sweeping at her shoulders and thoughtful blue eyes studying her, was none other than Alexandra Cabot.

"Alex?" Olivia breathed.

Alex just looked at Olivia, not sure of what to do.

Olivia looked Alex up and down before reaching out to touch Alex's cheek. It was so warm and so soft. "You're real."

Alex covered Olivia's hand with her own. "Yeah."

Since words seemed to fail her, Olivia resorted to a way she could always communicate with Alex. She pulled Alex into a kiss and hoped to convey the emotions of three years apart with only one visit, with it.

Alex pulled away breathless. She set her gun on the dresser and sank into Olivia's arm. She buried her face in Olivia's neck and breathed her in, never wanting to forget her smell.

"Why are you here Alex?" Olivia asked gently.

Alex took a deep breath, "They're rounding up Velez's men. I'm sure you already know that."

Olivia paused, the bigger question on the tip of her tongue. Olivia was burning to know so she asked, "Why did you walk away?"

Alex slowly pulled away from Olivia. She took her hand and sat down on the foot of her bed. Olivia sat next to her.

Alex turned to Olivia, taking both of her hands, "I had a good life where I was. I was successful. I had good friends. A nice house." Alex started studying Olivia's hands, "When they told me that it would be safe for me to return to my real life in a few days, I started asking myself if my life was still here." She looked up at Olivia with tears filled eyes, but kept on in a strong voice, "I had to come back to see if my life was still here. I came to make sure my best friend hadn't forgotten about me. And to make sure that my co-workers hadn't lost all respect for someone who ran away." Alex paused, "I had to make sure that the love of my life hadn't moved on without me."

The last sentence broke Olivia's heart. "I could never, ever move on without you. You, Alex, are my one and only. If I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone."

The tears finally started seeping down Alex's face.

"Are you staying?" Olivia asked, bringing her hand up to Alex's cheek again.

Alex nodded into Olivia's hand and leaned in for a long awaited kiss.


End file.
